My Book of Laws For No One

 So, I guess one thing I haven't done is contextualize. I have an exam tomorrow and I know I can write 5k words of whatever comes to my mind at any given point, and if I try to apply this skill of mine in any sort of academic context, boom, its gone. I will explain why I have so many lengthy posts when the blog was made in July. The Answer is that I have lots of documents saved on my PC, the oldest probably was written in the very beginnings of the pandemic, They range from 5 paragraphs I did on my phone to 28k words I did on a weekend, A lot of my writing is trash, it has to be, when you begin something new, you gotta fail a lot to get better, but even the bottom of the barrel of beginning of 2020 will find a place in this blog on due time, for sentimental reasons. I picked writing as a hobby because I really like to read books, web serials, manga, and because I like big numbers, specially when that number is the amount of money being made: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1pMOu...

Future Repetition seems to be a recurring event on this diary of mine, I say the same thing over and over again, always the same problems, always the same person, I feel right now that I have become static as an individual. Unable to evolve past of this shallow problems, in a cycle of mediocrity were I stumble back at this cesspool of despair seconds before of being able to achieve a breakthrough, so close, and yet so far to learning how to do it the right way. I think I am doing things wrong, or not doing the right things at all, I wish for a better understanding of myself, but as I try to reach deeper into the full person that I am, I shy away, Like being burned by hot coals, I just want to live in pure mediocrity, working on the superficial stuff without regards to agency What am I doing? I will never be a writer if I continue to let those problems of mine drag me down, I should write just like I walk my bike, To force an impulse and to continue to writing until the end of my days ...

A nail on the head, the mirror shatters I haven't done any writing today I don't want to be bitter about it, but we spent way too many time together my great friend Pedro Augusto, please go home for today, I am so tired and the only thing I want from the bottom of my heart is to sleep. the passage of time is something greater than any achievement man could ever make, I run in direction to a wall, my whole life is knowing I will splatter my noggin on the bricks and concrete, while running is the thing I long to do, the wall approaches me nonetheless, I sit in the ground, the blue sky overhead now shadowed by inevitable, I refuse to move, but no matter, time follows its course, and I am smashed I really appreciate my body, I trained so well, I plan to make good use for it in the future I don't remember the times I ever wrote, I wonder why I don't do ot anymore? I usedy old cellphone after a very long time, and it had all this notes from things I started, things I planned...

Oh Dear, I am Writing From some sketchy Software, I guess this Open Live Writer would be a great resource if I had multiple blogs and needed to crosspost between then, but I don’t think it has much utility for me that is just posting for fun on this site, well, I guess if I were to write something on this post, I am gonna post all the documents on my “whining” folder, you thought I was teenaging angst all over this blog, you haven’t seen teenage angst quite like this, beware, and stay safe. Better to skip this series, for mental health reasons.  Well, not on this document, I just saw I have more or less fifty five documents of me whining how I want to be a writer and write, instead of... writing the damn things I want to write, this whole blog is me doing the same thing, over and over, well, not quite, this is my personal archive of what was going on in my late teenage years, the whining was a very important part of it, can't separate the bad from the good (not like I have much of ...